Dear Harriet: My best friend is one of the cutest people I’ve ever met. He recently introduced me to his other friends, and I was surprised to learn that they are pretty much a bunch of bad guys. He doesn’t seem like a good person at all.
We stayed with him for about three hours, and he spent at least two of them talking badly about other people. He even gossiped about his own friends!
Now I’m feeling unsure about whether my best friend does the same thing to me when I’m not around. I don’t trust mean girls, and I worry that I’ve become friends with someone who surrounds himself with them.
Can my friend be a mean girl too? Should I approach her about how uncomfortable her other friends have made me?
too much gossip
Dear much gossip: Remember how your best friend treats you. Look back in time to remember the special moments the two of you shared together. How has he treated you? This is important because you want to judge her on the basis of her actions, not the actions of her friends.
That said, you need to check on him on the behavior of his friends. Talk to him about the time you just spent with him and his other friends. Highlight moments when you were amazed by their behavior – especially gossiping. Ask her if she notices that they do this a lot. Tell him that you find that behavior rude and unkind. Ask her directly if she participates in that friend bashing.
Listen to your friend and understand where he stands in this. Find out why she chooses to spend time with these people. Tell him you’re not interested in seeing them again, but more than that, you’re worried that they’re talking about you — and that — behind your back.
Dear Harriet: I am satisfied with the work I currently have, and I express this frequently to my friends and family. I am happy with the flexibility, work-life balance and experience the job has provided me.
For whatever reason, my friends and family keep pushing me to apply for new jobs that I will never be interested in. They are pushing me to apply to anything that pays more than my current role.
What they don’t understand is that salary isn’t everything for me. I would prefer to have a low paying job in my field rather than work in a field that I am not interested in for a higher salary.
How do I keep them off my back?
content with the job
Content with Dear Job: Your friends and family cannot live their lives for you. Duration. They can state their opinion, which they obviously do, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow their advice.
Work-life balance is something that many people struggle to find. Looking for money often throws off the balance of even reaching that comfort zone.
if you are satisfied And You’ve got to know how to take care of yourself, so be it. Where it can get messy is if that’s what you do and how you do it, but you need supplemental financial support from family and loved ones because your chosen line of work and current situation are enough to support your lifestyle. does not provide resources. ,
Harriet Cole is a Lifestylist and the Founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people reach their dreams and make them active. You can send questions to [email protected] or Andrews McMichael Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.